Confessions

Housecleaning can be a bag of mixed emotions. You feel good to see it clean again, but tired when it's all over. Sometimes you can't decide where to put stuff and other times whether to even keep it at all. How do you organize it all anyway? They teach small children how to sort in Math class-- by color, size, or how to follow a pattern. Why can't organizing your house be that easy? There are so many "patterns" it gets to be pretty complicated.

I've been house cleaning out of necessity this summer. I share a small apartment with my college age daughter and we are REALLY close on space. Her stuff and mostly my crap. I've pared it down several times in the last 5 years-- mainly because I'm sick of moving it around, but now it's because I've filled every inch of my closets, under my bed, behind the doors and furniture and every inch of my small storage unit to the point that I have to quickly shut the door before it all falls out. I'm good at arranging things to maximize the space. Good in some respects, but come moving day... "there's still MORE in there?!"....

I have a confession to make to the world. Some people have a drug or drinking problem. I have a fabric problem. The day I realized that was when I found an old fabric purchase receipt (one of many) that was 3 feet long and it totaled more than $180. I wrote a note to myself on it "How much fabric DO you REALLY need?" and kept it as a reminder. I have gotten rid of boxes, yes boxes, of fabric 3-4 times in the last 5 years. This week I have gotten rid of some more. If I haven't gotten around to making that outfit with that fabric I bought in 1982 I really don't think I'm going to do it now. I figure I've spent more on the sale stuff for those future projects than if I would have purchased it at full price at the time that I REALLY needed it.

I wish they had an AA of sorts for fabric recoverers. I've had to really talk myself into, first STOP buying new fabric when I have a store full at home. Second, instead of spending time creating in my mind while looking at all the lovely fabrics in the store, spend time actually creating the projects I intended to do sitting at home in tubs. One time I actually sat down and worked pretty steadily on several projects and it didn't hardly put a dent in my SCRAP pile (not the actual fabric boxes).

I realized my issue was that I loved to create. I was loaded with lovely ideas and I loved seeing the cool things that can be produced. It was a venue I was pretty good at, but I just can't keep up with making it all. I never learned how to say ENOUGH to myself. We need to learn to say NO to ourselves, too. Knowing when to stop eating so you don't get fat, when to stop drinking so you don't get drunk, when to stop buying shoes or buying fabric or ______ (fill in the blank) falls under that category. Enjoying life is a must, but accumulating stuff isn't.

Part of my "cleaning house" has been to understand that I can enjoy beautiful houses, clothes, cars,... stuff.. in this world and not have to OWN it. I can go window shopping and enjoy what I see and go home without a single bag in hand and feel fulfilled-- and FREE! It greatly reduces the housecleaning, organizing and moving hassles and gives me more time to see the beautiful world that exists once every day.